You cannot develop a healthy sex life if you’re not honest about what works and what doesn’t. Having open, honest communication with your partner is the key to satisfying and enjoyable sex. There are times, however, when faking it isn’t as detrimental as we make it out to be.
1. His efforts are genuine and show deep care.
There have been times in our lives when our partners put forth a genuine effort. Either they swallow their pride, go out of their way to do something we love, or grit their teeth and tolerate one of our lesser traits. In these moments, it is our duty as women to understand that our role is to be supportive — to show that we noticed they bit their tongue, that they watched our favourite film that they hate, or that we were being unreasonable but they stood by us anyway.
Men are creatures of the physical world — survival, protection, providing. Which means they show their feelings in physical ways, too, such as keeping us from harm, buying us gifts, and sex. Some men only understand that these efforts are appreciated if they end in successful results — they won the battle with the rival, we loved their gift, or we orgasmed. In their minds, they aren’t adequate if they lose the fight, if we hate the gift, or if we don’t orgasm.
It takes a particular kind of man to understand that orgasm isn’t the be-all and end-all of sex, but unfortunately, this is only a percentage and not the whole. Just like how we smile and say thank you for an expensive gift (even if we don’t like it all that much), sometimes the kind thing to do during sex is to fake an orgasm.
2. It weighs down his confidence.
Sometimes we need to put honesty on the back burner and put the well-being of others first. If you’ve noticed that what happens in the bedroom may affect other areas of his life, it may be cruel not to reassure him once in a while that he is appreciated and loved. Again, for some men, this means orgasm. There is a particular group that operates under the serious belief that without an orgasm, all effort has been useless. ‘All or nothing,’ so-to-speak. For a large percentage of men, making their woman orgasm is part of their duties. It’s a language that is vital to showing a woman how manly he is.
It’s not always necessary to hold onto a moral belief if it comes at the price of our partner’s confidence. If you notice that a lack of orgasms may be causing doubts in his ability to perform (which can spill over into other areas of his life), then be supportive and fake it once in a while. Some men don’t understand that a lack of orgasms isn’t a direct reflection of their performance. He can do everything right, but sometimes we just can’t reach the big O.
3. It’s an extremely awkward situation that you must get out of.
And by the way, men have faked for this reason, too.
4. It’s getting painful and you have an understanding.
Some couples are very open about what happens in the bedroom. They are equally receptive to constructive criticism, which is why bold honesty is sometimes an unspoken agreement between two people. If things are getting uncomfortable, there’s an effective and considerate way to end the session: she fakes an orgasm so her man can get off. After all, blue balls are often far worse than a woman who simply didn’t come.
There’s such a strong stigma to faking orgasms because it is often done for the wrong reasons. By being honest, we help men understand the female body and mind, and as a result eliminate any need to fake at all. However sometimes, it’s more important to be supportive than it is to be honest. For some men, this can only be understood with an orgasm.