We’ve all been in that situation where things seem to be going well, then some time down the road we realize she is not the woman we thought she was. Sometimes there are no red flags to give you a heads up. So what can you do about it?
Observe how she behaves around other men
A woman’s attitude towards men is directly reflected by how she behaves around them. She may put on the glitter and glam for you, but we all try to impress our dates in the beginning, so this can be misleading. Instead, take note of how she responds to men she has nothing to gain from. If she criticizes them or insinuates they have a ‘use’, then this is a good indicator of her overall character when it comes to the male counterpart.
It doesn’t matter if she’s had bitter breakups or was burned in the past. You want to be with a woman who has a healthy respect for men — a woman who sees beyond superficial dating problems and understands that not all men are the same. Observe how she responds to male waiters, cashiers or your friends. If you notice rudeness or excessive submission, it’s more than likely this is an indicator of deeper subconscious beliefs.
Ask about her father
Our fathers are the blueprints of how we are conditioned to perceive and respond to men. This is the main man in every woman’s life, whether he was present or not. A woman’s father can hurt her more than any other man, so it’s important to know how she responds to this relationship.
Again, do not judge the kind of relationship she has with her father, because this can vary across the board. Instead, observe how she talks about him. Even if they have a turbulent relationship, or he was missing altogether, how does she respond to that? If there is bitterness or insulting remarks, don’t think these male associations won’t make an appearance in your relationship. Until a woman can understand and accept the relationship with her father, it will be very difficult to do so with you. Remember that, in a way, you are replacing the main male figure in her life. She will make associations between you two whether she knows it or not.
That’s why observing how she talks about her dad is a preview of how your relationship will be. If she speaks in a mature fashion, tries to be objective and acknowledges that she is her own person, you’re dealing with a woman who is capable of being strong and working through issues in important relationships. Use your best judgement, but know that how she talks about the primary male figure in her life is a reflection of her overall blueprint towards men.
Pay attention to how she talks about past relationships
Observing how she responds to past relationships will reveal how she treats the men she’s involved with, how she copes with emotional distress/pain and whether or not she is genuine. Once a relationship is over, there is no reason to save face or play nice. She is now able to be as honest and open as she wants, because no one’s feelings will get hurt. This is an opportunity to see her true colours.
Don’t write her off if she reveals negative aspects about an ex or a previous relationship. After all, it ended for a reason. Instead, see how she evaluates the entire relationship as a whole. Whether or not it was a bad experience doesn’t really matter. Does she take responsibility for her role in the relationship? Does she blame a past partner for everything that went wrong?
This can also reveal how much effort she is willing to put into a relationship and how she deals with issues when they arise.
Strongly disagree with one of her beliefs
Don’t lie. Be genuine about your mismatching beliefs, but do make an effort to show her you disagree. This is very important. Why? It’s a precursor to how she will argue and respond to differences.
If she becomes defensive or condescending, it’s obvious that any potential relationship problem will be a power struggle — who is right and who is wrong. If she respectfully disagrees, or better yet asks questions about why you feel differently, you are looking at a mature woman who is genuinely interested in understanding why and how you think the way you do. This is a very important quality when looking for a suitable partner. You want someone who is capable of discussion and working through differences. These qualities will help build a strong and solid relationship based on trust and mutual understanding.
Ask her something she’s passionate about
Not only is this a great way to guide a conversation, but as you watch how passionate she gets, you can compare this response to how she reacts to you. Down the road, you will be able to see if her love and care for you is true. In other words, get an early copy of what she’s like when her heart is genuinely involved. Later on, this will help you determine whether or not she is truly interested in you or the relationship.
These tools can help you get a clearer idea of the kind of woman you’re dealing with, and by applying them, you can polish your radar and make it easier to detect the kind of woman you want to keep. On guard!